Trappey's Chef Magic Jalapeno Sauce: a (not so) hot mess

 Trappey's has a history more interesting than it's product; imagine a sea anemone stuck to a coral reef. It struggles and struggles to get off, and after years of minuscule movement, it breaks free, only to tumble onto another coral reef nearby. This is the history of Trappey's hot sauce.

Tabasco sauce--one of my least favorite hot sauces--is headed by the McIlhenny family from Louisiana. The company was founded in 1898, when Louisiana entrepreneur (and former McIlhenny Company employee) B.F. Trappey began growing tabasco chilies from Avery Island seed. Note that today Tabasco releases an expensive "rare blend" of hot sauce called "Avery Island Reserve" (review forthcoming).

B.F. Trappey founded the company B.F. Trappey and Sons and, with the help of his ten sons and one daughter, began producing his own sauce, which he called "Tabasco." The McIlhenny family, makers of Tabasco brand sauce retaliated against their former employee by receiving a trademark for their Tabasco brand in 1906. Nowadays, Trappey's has been absorbed by ultra-mega conglomerate B&G Foods, Inc. It enjoys national distribution, but at what cost?

Let’s look at the facts: Trappey's makes "Louisiana Hot Sauce." They conceded the Tabasco name to the McIlhenny family. What is this mysterious blend of sauce from the Bayou state? It refers to a simple blend of vinegar, peppers (almost exclusively cayanne or jalapeno), and loads of salt. My good friend xanthan gum is often added to thicken it up and give you your daily dose of science, something those absent minded nutritionists accidentally left off the food pyramid. Trappey's Chef Magic Jalepeno Sauce's only magic seems to be a complicated name and awful product.

Good Hurts: I don't believe for a second that this Simpsons-plutonium-rod-green sauce is over 2,000 Scoville units. It's not hot at all. A quick jolt of spicy tang, but that's about it. Trappey's sauces, I think, cater more to people who like vinegar and salt more than spice.

Flavor: This is what the magic really is: a plasticy, industrial-lacquer like pulpy green liquid that kicks more like a goat's salt lick than a hot sauce. The jalapeno, a pepper with a distinct herb flavor and sweet, searing heat is totally absent here. It tastes terrible.

Availability: If you like horrible excuses for hot sauce, you're in luck! Trappey's Chef Magic Jalapeno sauce is totally ubiquitous despite all its shortcomings. I found some here at my local HyVee in Iowa City, about as far from the Bayou as you can get. Guard your children...it lurks.

Good for: Nothing, really. A sauce with a flavor like this will in fact detract from a meal. I'd only really give this sauce points for having a fun color.

REVIEW:

FLAVOR: NO STARS

HEAT: *

MY REVIEW: 0.2/10

If this site is about rating the best, you must define and acknowledge some of the worst. Shame on you, Trappey. Average Louisiana style hot sauce is one thing, but this chlorine-smelling liquid isn't fit to be called hot sauce.