Welcome to Good Hurts!

Good Hurts is dedicated to the best hurts on Earth: spicy foods.
I'm Russell. I teach English, write poetry, but most importantly, I am a spice aficionado and I dedicate myself to categorizing, reviewing, and torturing myself with the spiciest foods and sauces this great world has to offer, all so you can know about the most brutal, benevolent, and best bangs for your buck. Email me at hotfreakrussell@gmail.com


Enjoy, and feel the burn.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Bufalo Jalapeno Very Hot: one step above miserable




Let's get one thing perfectly clear: Bufalo knows how to make hot sauce. They've been doing it in Mexico since 1933, and their Chipotle hot sauce, which is the same consistency as A-1, is smokey and awesome on any Tex-Mex food you can think of. This sauce, however, falls flat fast.


Let's look at the facts: Bufalo seems more intent on flavor than heat, which is fine with me, and most likely fine with mainstream hot sauce eaters. They have such a wide variety of solid sauces, but this one is worth avoiding. With hot freaks, however, this sauce is like glorified ketchup; sugary, tangy, and a festive neon red, this thick sauce seems to be made of a mysterious salty gelatin

Good Hurts: The smell is just like the Trappey's Chef Magic Jalapeno, and if you can get over that Play-Doh like rush, you might be in for a minor, minor treat; it's sugary and salty at the same time, but the short shot of spice isn't enough to really have this sauce measure up to something built to burn.

Flavor: The odd mix of sweet and very, very salty runs thin quick; the smell, texture, and color run thin even thicker. I didn't mind the semi-sweet taste at first, but soon started feeling like hot peppers may not have had a hand in the equation. All the ingredients, including red 40 and an army of unpronounceable preservatives, detract from the overall experience.

Availability: Easy to find in many grocery stores, but omnipresent in Mexican groceries across the nation and in Mexico. Bufalo has really proven themselves with so many sauces and condiments, but this one felt like they just sort of mailed it in.

Good for: Cold pizza, and cold pizza pretty much exclusively. This sauce would overpower a salsa or dish not just with it's texture but with its flavor and smell. It might go well if on its own with rice, perhaps.

REVIEW:
FLAVOR: *
HEAT: *
MY REVIEW: 2.0/10

Avoidance is the best option with this lackluster sauce.

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