Welcome to Good Hurts!

Good Hurts is dedicated to the best hurts on Earth: spicy foods.
I'm Russell. I teach English, write poetry, but most importantly, I am a spice aficionado and I dedicate myself to categorizing, reviewing, and torturing myself with the spiciest foods and sauces this great world has to offer, all so you can know about the most brutal, benevolent, and best bangs for your buck. Email me at hotfreakrussell@gmail.com

Enjoy, and feel the burn.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Tabasco Habanero Sauce: Tabasco turns up the heat

There are two types of people in this world.
Actually, there are many types. You can break my classification of two different types into a nearly endless stratum...but before I've even gotten to the review, I've digressed.
There are two types of people in this world:
People who like Topple and people who don't.
This, of course, isn't entirely true; some people enjoy the intensity, dexterity, and competition associated with Topple. Still others like the game but prefer to stand on the sidelines and watch. Then there are some that want nothing to do with the game. Is this sauce a well-balanced winner, or is it toppled in its own crazy heat and crazy blends of flavor?

Let's look at the facts: 
Of course, this is a metaphor for Tabasco's Habanero sauce. It's not as delicious as their Chipotle sauce, but it's easily as daring. However, the good folks on the modern day Island of Dr. Moreau, McIlhenny Co.'s Avery Island, have stepped big-time out of their comfort zone of traditional Louisiana sauce to making a much hotter "Jamaican style" sauce. Their website claims that "mango, papaya, and more" to create a "Caribbean touch to any dish you're serving." However, Tabasco needs to make sure people know the special secret; this tastes like Tabasco, except it's super, super, super spicy. However, after the nuclear pepper fallout clears, little dots of a unique flavor begin to trickle in.

Good Hurts: It's Tabasco, but really hot. I'm really trying to be kind here; Tabasco is a tasty sauce that I've said before seems more akin to the UK's love of vinegar than it is about murdering your baby taste buds. This sauce is a brave new frontier for Tabasco: a sauce way too hot for the masses their traditional sauce holds so much footing with. It's a blistering, tongue ravaging heat, the kind that usually accompanies habaneros. This is truly Tabasco's olive branch to the mouths of the hottest hot freaks out there.

Flavor: This is a very funny sauce when it comes to this category. The ingredients are eclectic, ranging from tamarind and papaya paste to regular Tabasco sauce, tomato paste, onion, and garlic. Like a veritable bottle of Topple, this hot sauce balances average Tabasco sauce with an insane amount of heat for the brand, followed by waves of tropical ingredients to try and balance it out. What works is that this sauce is really hot and has subtle notes of sweet flavor after the dust has settled from the tremendous heat; what doesn't work is that "caribbean flavor," as the Scotch Bonnett has a vibrant, bright sweetness like an orange or yellow pepper. Because so many savory things, like garlic, onion powder, and liberal amounts of salt and vinegar dominate this sauce, it's gonna taste a lot like Tabasco. But much hotter.

Availability: This sauce seems to be hardest to find of the "new breed" of Tabasco's products, but it's part of the gauntlet Tabasco throws down on their site: demand it and it shall be in your store in no time. 

Good for: This spicy sauce is excellent for livening up soups and chili, I think, because it has classic combinations of savory and spice, like it's much older brother. Don't hold your breath waiting for a sweet, happy, tropical experience. Use this sauce as you would Tabasco, but hotter. Seriously. I know I repeat this again and again, but this sauce could easily be used to prank someone who thinks Tabasco's normal sauce is really hot.

Heat: ****
Flavor: **
My Review: 7.3/10

For Tabasco flavor with heat from the other side of the tracks, get yourself a bottle O habanero!


  1. I only found this sauce 3 days ago for the first time over here in germany. (my 'Kaufland') As someone who generally considers standard Tabasco as good with hotness but only slightly above bland in taste, this version is now my new go-to for actually wanting things to be hot while also having a modicum of flavor.

  2. Great sauce for when you just want a snack with a kick - taste is great and there is some definite heat, enough to make a soup or sandwich 100x more exciting.